A curse defined: “an utterance intended to invoke a supernatural power to inflict harm or punishment on someone or something.” (dictionary.com.) Familiar fairy tales introduced curses, usually by a witch casting a spell, which changed the hero into a different form, like a frog; or suspended the heroine into a long sleep. But more interesting curses exist.

Many simply identify as “a Chinese curse.” A few of them follow:

— “May all your dreams come true!” Though initially sounding wonderful, one must recognize that many dreams become nightmares, which few people would wish on a friend or loved one.

— “May your every wish be granted!” On the surface, this curse appears beneficial, but many of us wish for things or relationships that are not in our best interest.

— “May you live in interesting times!” Again, this curse appears as a favorable blessing, but wars, pestilence, and insurrections remain the fodder of “interesting times.” Peace and tranquility may be a wonderful time to live, but unfortunately do not qualify as interesting times.

The Irish produce vile curses, most of which arose centuries ago, often steeped in the Roman Catholic tradition. A sampling below:

— “May you marry in haste, and repent at leisure!” Under church rules, premarital sex constituted a mortal sin, potentially condemning the perpetrators to the fires of Hell. To marry in haste meant the familiar “shotgun” ceremony, which arose when a young woman became pregnant before marriage. Repent in leisure meant that the divine condemnation remained until forgiven by confession, so if a person died before confessing his sin, he would go to hell.

— “May you get the runs on your wedding night!” Under the strict Catholic rules, couples must forego sex until after their wedding. Accordingly, the wedding night became the most wonderful night of one’s life, which would be spoiled and soiled by diarrhetic unpleasantness.

— “May you be plagued with a powerful itch, and not have the nails to scratch it!” No mincing words here! An itch is a most agonizing annoyance, so without means to scratch it brings unending grief.

Lastly, a Venezuelan curse:

— “May you find yourself between lawyers!” This curse raises fear to another plateau. While the lawyers fight, of course, the client must pay their fees.

An epitaph is defined as: “An inscription on or at a tomb or a grave in memory of the one buried there; a brief statement commemorating or epitomizing a deceased person or something past.” (Merriam-Webster Dictionary.) Many famous people sought to craft a pithy epitaph in their memory with specific instructions in their last wishes. Some notable epitaphs follow:

— “Free at Last,” the final words of the famous civil rights leader, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr, who led the Civil Rights Movement in the 1960’s, striving to bring real freedom to his people, descendants of former slaves. His assassination shook the country; his epitaph left a compelling message. Everyone attains freedom and equality in death.

— “Excuse my Dust,” a humorous epitaph of Dorthy Parker (1893-1967), a American poet, short story writer, and satirist. She founded the notorious Algonquin Round Table, which hosted a celebrated group of New York writers who met for lunch each day at the Algonquin Hotel. They engaged in “wise cracks, wordplay and witticisms” that found its way in various newspaper columns of the attendees. (Wikipedia, Algonquin Round Table.) Her epitaph fit the spirit of her wit.

— “Come up and see me some time,” a typical quip of Mae West, the actress, comedian and sex symbol. Mae West performed a song entitled” Come up and see me sometime”, which she may have referenced in one of her acts, luring potential suitors into her web of decadence.

— “Here lies W.C. Fields. I’d rather be living in Philadelphia.” The comedian, W.C Fields, grew up poor in Philadelphia and cracked many a joke about the city. He often referred to variations of the epitaph in one of his routines from which the quote arose. In reality, however, his grave marker merely notes his name and dates. Nevertheless, popular lore retains the memorable epitaph, though not above his grave site.

— “I’m in on a plot.” Another double entendre, identifying the resting place of Alfred Hitchcock, and his recognized brilliance on developing the plots for his movie and Television mysteries.

And what better than to end with the epitaph of Mel Blanc, the unique voice master of many cartoon characters, including Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Porky Pig, Sylvester the cat, Tweety Bird, Yosemite Sam, et al., who ended every cartoon with a well known slogan and a befitting tribute to his life’s work enjoyed by millions:

— “That’s All Folks,”