Month: January 2020

A Ground Hog Tale

Posted on by Robert Eck

Every February 2, Ground Hog Day hosts a big to-do across the country, providing a mid-winter photo-op for town dignitaries.  They assemble around the humble abode of some local celebrity ground hog, whose name varies by burg, town or city.  In my town, we have our own, “Floozie.”  Every year, our mayor, never shy in front of a camera, positions himself between the camera and Floozie’s front door, and then in a humbling moment, drops down to his hands and knees adjacent the hole, with an upturned smiling face, to assure front page coverage in the local newspaper.  

Last year, when Floozie poked out her head, as is the custom on this day, she retreated quickly to safer quarters.  Normally, that result would signal six more weeks of winter.  But no one knows for sure whether Floozie’s timidity arose from seeing her shadow or the mayor’s toothy grin.  The party out of power blasted  the mayor for hogging the moment, while the other party yelled “sour grapes” for the opposing party’s loss in the last election.  In a spirit of good will, the mayor poked his head inside Floozie’s home seeking to coax her out again.  No one could hear the mayor’s message, as the fit was tight so his voice didn’t carry to the crowd amassed outside.  

All could see, however, that the mayor had become more agitated, because the veins along his neck started pulsating and bulging.  After a while, he started to flail his arms, so the assembled dignitaries realized that they had a public relations disaster on their hands.  The mayor’s head was stuck in the hole.  As you could imagine, since Floozie had spent the whole winter in her den, the odor must have been overwhelming.  

So some well-meaning souls grabbed the mayor’s feet and pulled hard.   Out came his head with a loud POP.  Without missing a beat, the mayor quickly turned to the camera, flashing his toothy grin with an upturned, reddened head and declared:  “With the authorization provided me by my office, I declare that we will have six more weeks of winter.”

Since the “boos” overwhelmed any “hoorays”, the mayor continued:  “But I am going to lower your taxes, provide more jobs, and assure every child gets the best education.”  He hit the right message, because the fickle voters had forgotten about the six more weeks of winter.  

After everyone left, a small protrusion could be observed wiggling from the hole, and a wee voice declared:  “My tale is told!”                

The Bleak Midwinter

Posted on by Robert Eck

If you were asked to describe the month of January in one word, what would it be?  My candidate:  Bleak!  Bleak equates to frozen misery, and other dismal, dreary words.  

Bleak definition:  1) bare, desolate, and often windswept. 2.) cold and piercing; raw; 3) without hope or encouragement; depressing; dreary.  (dictionary.com)  What a word!  How bleak it is! 

In 1852-3, Charles Dickens wrote Bleak House, a satiric novel which critiqued the English Chancery court system, which dealt with wills and estates.  Continual court hearings on frivolous issues enriched the lawyers and judges at the expense of the estate.  A bleak situation, indeed, if you were an heir watching your inheritance whittle away.  Through Dickens’ work, the Chancery Court reformed its procedures.  

Many well known poems had focused on “bleak,” usually in the sense of cold, frosty weather, as chillingly described:

  “In the bleak midwinter, frosty wind made moan, 

Earth stood hard as iron, water like a stone; 

Snow had fallen, Snow on snow, Snow on snow, 

In the bleak midwinter, long ago.”  

In The Bleak Midwinter by Christina Rossetti (1830–1894), an English Victorian poet.

“Winds blow the open grassy places bleak;

But where this old wall burns a sunny cheek,”

Atmosphere by Robert Frost (1874—1963)

“On whom the elements their might wreak;

Save that the bustard, of those regions bleak”

Guilt and Sorrow by William Wordsworth (1770—1850)

Bleak brings no happiness and little hope.  Consider some synonyms: desolate, austere, dreary, depressing, cold, raw, grim, lonely, harsh, somber, sad, dark, gloomy, dismal, bare.  (dictionary.com)  Are you happy yet?  

Please do not give up, however, for bleak is about as low as someone or something may go.  The nadir eventually will turn toward the zenith, so just “grim and bear it,” as the calendar pages turn from January to February, when thoughts turn to ground hog predictions of fair weather.  Hopefully, the ground hog will not see its shadow, thus avoiding the bleak proclamation of six more weeks of winter.  But not to worry, for Valentine’s Day approaches when thoughts of love abound.  Even a cold lips kiss is better than a bleak no kiss at all.