I have been a frequent user of rest rooms in restaurants, bars and arenas; and as I grow older, a more frequent user.  Occasionally, I note a prominent sign over the urinal, which carries an important public service message — sometimes tinged with a little humor:

—“ We aim to please.  You aim too, please!” 

— “ Hey Diddle Diddle, aim for the middle.”

— “ Please stand closer, its shorter than you think!

All the above quotes send the same message that when you pee, keep it straight, and do not diddle with your piddle.  But does it work?  I do not know, but I try my best.  Some proprietors put a deodorant disc in the bowl — a suitable target to hit, with the added benefit of dispensing an aromatic aroma within the room.  Other proprietors, put a decal of a fly at the center of the bowl, Target practice become fun, but the fly never moves a flutter.

When the rest room fails to include a urinal, but presents the unisex toilet bowl, adorned with the familiar oval seat, the message changes:

— “If you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat.”

— “Sprinkles are for cupcakes, not toilet seats.”

— “Color outside the lines. Think outside the box, but please pee inside the bowl.”

Sometimes a different themed message appears:

— “The best seat in the house”

— “Please remain seated for the entire performance.”

— “Hope everything comes out okay.”

During the 1946 presidential campaign between Lyndon Johnson and Barry Goldwater, a political sign became prominent over the urinal:

— “Please deposit your Goldwater here!” 

One could easily tell the political affiliation of the proprietor, as well as the political persuasion of their patrons, who whizzed on the floor in protest. Some people take their politics too far.

In conclusion, I quote my all time favorite urinal sign, which brings a chortle every time I recall it:

—“Please do not throw your cigar butts in the urinal.  It makes them soggy and hard to light.”